I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize