I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
