if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
