I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
