I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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