So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
