white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
