sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
