dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
