We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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