she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
