She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
