I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
