do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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