I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
