I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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