WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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