i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
