My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My pussy is not your playground.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
