mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
