I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
