oh god the rape fog is back!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize