so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I supernannyed him into submission
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize