my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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