Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
