fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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