i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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