Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A bitchslap is in order.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
