He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
