Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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