I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
