sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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