can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
