so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize