I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
