Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
jump out the window naked night went bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
