2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
