i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
