so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize