Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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