dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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