i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
