Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
