The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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