does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
