ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Panties = found
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