She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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