I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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