Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think people are normalizing furries
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