He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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