Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize