If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
