This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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