remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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