I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
