My friends, they love my intelligence
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
