You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm always down for nudity.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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