those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
