Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
