I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
